Monday, Monday

After a very productive weekend, I am feeling a bit tired today. Part of my purpose in continuing this blog is for accountability. Even if no person other than myself (and probably my husband) ever reads these posts, I know that by posting publicly, there is a bit of pressure to do well from my audience. Everyone wants to see success stories, not some low-life that continues to fail at following through with their hopes and dreams. We experience that too much in our own lives, why would we waste our time reading about other people who are in the exact same position? I normally post weekly progress pictures on Monday, but since I am so tired, I didn't get up in time to have my hubby take them this morning. I will try to get them done before we go to bed tonight, so I can post them either today or tomorrow.

Part of the reason I'm so tired today is because of the haunting images of one of my closest family members. To protect the innocent, they will remain anonymous. I was thinking the other night of our boys and how I want them to remember my family. I have such fond memories of holiday gatherings with all of my aunts and uncles, my many cousins, and my grand and great-grandparents. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without each one of these people, yet I can't shake the idea that my children will not have the wonderful experience that I was blessed to have. One of my family members is very obese. I have always been overweight (except a few years in high school where I made some very dumb decisions); everyone in my immediate family has been overweight. We were active (I have great numbers from blood work), we just didn't eat healthily or do much to overcome the weight problems. This one particular member has deteriorated so much over the past few years, I am afraid that they will reach retirement and continue to gain weight with nothing to keep them active, and we will eventually be calling a crane company to cart them out of the house, like the people you hear about on TV.

I am determined that I will not end up this way. I want nothing more than for this person to change their ways and be there for my sons, to be able to play and chase after them, that they have great memories of all the things they got to do together with, not just a memory of the person that we sometimes mention, because they are gone. If I have learned anything from this person, it is how I do not want to end up, and what I do not want for my family.

I am a fan of Dave Ramsey's teachings on finances, and one thing that he often says comes to mind in this case: change your family tree. I am determined to do this. Not just for me, but for my sons and any other children I may have. To change the way I live so that they can learn my healthy habits and not have to live with the ridicule and problems that come with obesity.

Here are the photos from today. My journey starts over here.

17 weeks post-partum; 268 pounds

A New Me...or, Rather, Two New "Me's"

I realize that it's been almost a year since my last update. It's not because I haven't wanted to write, it's that my life changed so much after March 4, 2013 that I couldn't even wrap my head around it to put into words. The most amazing thing happened: I am now a mother of beautiful twin boys!

We had been trying for a very short time, and all of a sudden, in the middle of March, our dream came true! I got the positive reading and praised God for making me a mother, then I spent the entire morning preparing a wonderful date for my husband, at the end of which I shared the good news with him. More about that later...

We were ecstatic about our little one's arrival, when we went to hear the heartbeat for the first time and the doctor told us he couldn't hear it. Immediately, I thought the worst, but the doctor assured us this happens frequently, especially when the placenta is in the front. He scheduled us for a sonogram and we found out that day that our dreams had been doubled! There is a pretty funny story behind that, which I'll have to share another day.

After a nearly full-term pregnancy, we are the proud parents of two charming, healthy, and lovable little men, hence two new mini-me's. Now I begin the journey once again to reaching my goal weight, after gaining over 50 pounds during my pregnancy. I hope you'll come along for the ride!

16 weeks post-partum; 265 pounds