Time to tell...

I wish it weren't always 10 pm when I have time to myself to collect my thoughts and write. Unfortunately, this seems to be the only time I have to get anything done that isn't laundry, dishes, nursing the baby, taking a shower, bathing the twins, or breaking up arguments between them. By the time I get to this point in the day, it's always a battle over the things I know I should do (spending time with my hubby, reading and praying, sleeping) and the things I want to do, like putting my thoughts down in print.

I have a little time tonight, so I thought I would share what's been going on that is consuming most of my mental and emotional energy right now.

My dad has always been a big guy. Not just tall (he's 6' 2" or so), but large. He's always been over 200, and in the past 10 years since his parents died, his brother died suddenly, and he had two major injuries that kept him from working for months at a time, he has put on many more pounds. He got up to just under 500 last summer and injured his back from carrying all that weight around.

Last October, after he had lost about 15 pounds preparing for his surgery

We prayed, prayed, and prayed some more that he would seek help for his weight problem, because they refused to do anything to help his back due to how heavy he was. He couldn't stand to be on his feet, which is what his job requires him to do every day for 8 hours, so as soon as he got home he would plant himself on the couch and only get up to go to the bathroom and bed. He couldn't play with his grandchildren because he hurt so badly.

I had mentioned to my mom several times about bariatric surgery because I knew at least 4 people who had undergone the procedure and had amazing results. Finally, my husband and I got up the courage to talk to Dad about it, and even brought over some brochures to share with him from one of my friends. He was thinking about it, as a last resort, and decided to look into it.

Praise God, in February (the day after our first ultrasound for Samuel), he had gastric bypass surgery and everything seemed to go great. He lost over 200 pounds between last summer when he went to the informational meeting and started making changes and when we moved in July. Then he started having trouble keeping food down.

He had a minor procedure done to stretch his muscles, which is somewhat common after bariatric surgery, but after the 2nd time having it done, he was still having the same problems. It got so bad that he would vomit even after having just water to drink. This went on far too long (nearly a month) and he was becoming dehydrated, so he finally admitted himself to the ER at the beginning of October. After a week of being on IV fluids and running a few tests, they started looking for other causes of his vomiting and found his white blood cell count was high.

We learned a few days later that he has stage 4 stomach cancer, which is apparently treatable but not curable or operable. He started chemo yesterday and is going every 2 weeks for 6 months to fight it.

This has been heartbreaking, especially after all that he's gone through to live healthier. He looked so good this summer, better than I can remember him looking since I was little. He had energy, he walked with his head held high for the first time in many years, not shrinking back because of his weight. He played with his 3 grandsons and most importantly, was not in pain. After the month of failed attempts at rectifying the issues, now he looks almost eerily thin, his muscles are weak and deteriorating and his skin just hangs off him.

One year later, just after learning about his cancer

My mom is barely hanging on. She is so strong, because she has to be, but I know it's killing her inside to see him go through this. She is a Christian, so she has her faith to help her through, but we are still not sure whether Dad is truly saved or not. We have presented the Gospel to him many times, have prayed with him and for him to know and have an eternal relationship with the One True God, but we have never gotten reassurance that he is in fact saved.

If you are the praying type, please say a prayer for my family. For my dad, for complete healing and for his spirit not to be broken, and for his salvation; for my mom, that she has the energy to keep encouraging him and to help him get through this. Thank you so much and God bless.

Monday again...

I need to get a nap in while the baby is sleeping, but I wanted to stop in for a quick post.

Life is hectic, and maybe I'll write about it later this week, but in the meantime, could you please pray for my parents? They are both having major health issues and it doesn't look like things will improve for a while.

At least I'm not gaining weight, due to the amount of chocolate chip cookies I've been scarfing for days now. Stress eating is a real thing! I hope to make it back to my pre-baby weight of 278 by my 6 week doctor follow-up. I know 278 doesn't sound that desirable, but at least it's progress...

I'll leave you with this week's photos. Grumpy the dwarf was at our house again this morning, as the baby had just eaten 30 minutes before my hubby had to leave for work. I was so tired...

Week 4 Weight: 288.5 Goal: <200 by 9/2/2018

Monday check-in

I know I don't technically need to check in every Monday, but it is a nice way to keep myself accountable by doing it this way. I have been doing photos on Monday since I first started Slim4Life (nearly 4 years ago!), so it is a bit of a habit now.

I am pleased with how much I've lost so far after having Samuel. I am almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight, which is still what I weighed when I first started Slim4Life, but at least I know that the pregnancy didn't affect me too poorly. Now I have the task of eating well and exercising to get down to a weight that I do feel good about.

So far, I feel like I've been eating pretty well. I know I have to keep up my energy so I can nurse Sam and be aware for my toddlers. I've been eating far more veggies lately than I did when I was pregnant, and drinking over a gallon of water a day to ensure I don't get dehydrated. I hardly ever need to pee, so I know it's going somewhere...

My toddlers are taking this all in stride. I can't say I "chase them around," because, honestly, I'm on my rear most of the time they're playing. I'm usually either eating, watching Thomas, nursing, or sleeping, so I don't have to chase them around the house. I'd like to say it's because I just had major abdominal surgery (c-section), but really it's because I don't lead an active lifestyle. 

I am not one of those people who just has to be up moving all the time, and I don't know what I can do differently to change that. I'd like to take walks with them regularly, but Isaac has had some majorly weird reactions to mosquito bites and I hesitate to even take him outside sometimes. We were out for about 45 minutes today and he came in with 2 bites and Tyson had 1. I know I can use bug spray, but I tried the DEET-free stuff and it didn't work, and I can't stand the feel or the smell of the other stuff. I have to figure out something though, because our backyard is too large to spend all our time indoors.

It's one of those precious moments when all the kiddos are asleep, so I better hang it up as well. Here are some photos from today. I'm glad I've lost what I have so far, because I have to fit into a pair of uniform pants tomorrow, and they just barely fit. I'll definitely have to watch my stress eating that is creeping up on me, or I'll never get down to my goal. 

Please excuse the funky hair. Newborn Mom hair...

Week 2 Post-partum Weight: 286 Goal: <200 by 9/2/2018

A New Me

Part of the whole premise of this blog was to make myself accountable to lose weight and to become essentially "a new me." In my mind, I consider that to include everything physical about me, from weight, to vision, hair, skin, teeth, and general wellness.

I had an eye-opening appointment last week that shed some light on an area that I've been sorely neglecting. We regularly visit the dentist twice a year, as recommended, and every time I go, I always dread the feeling afterward of the soreness of my gums from the hygienist digging in with her tools and then flossing. I always tell myself that I will continue to floss after that appointment, since I've gone through the initial pain of starting, and it will eventually feel better, my teeth will stop bleeding, and I'll be one of those people who never have problems with their teeth. 

My world was shattered this past time. I got a poor report that I am on a slippery path to gum disease if I don't change something about my routine and quickly. I've never been good at flossing regularly. I've always put it on my list of things to add to my daily routine, but I've always avoided it, due to the bleeding, the soreness, and the fact that I have a permanent retainer and I have to use one of those floss threaders every time. It's inconvenient. It's painful. I will never end up as one of those people. Well, I might be one of those people. 

Luckily, she told me that if I floss every day until my next appointment (and beyond, of course), I might improve the shape of my gums, or at least maintain the current status. I have never gotten a bad report from the dentist. Maybe a cavity here or there, and I had braces for 2 years in school, but never a bad report. I've always been told I needed to floss and brush twice a day, but always got by with brushing once in the morning and skipping flossing altogether. Now, for some reason (possibly pregnancy), my gums are receding at an alarming rate and I have to change something. 

So far, I have flossed at least once a day since my appointment, and brushed twice a day nearly every day. And it's not terrible. I have to give myself a little more time to get ready in the morning (not so easy to do with a newborn and the pokey toddlers that need extra attention right now), but I've done it. It might get a little trickier next week when my hubby goes back to work and isn't there to help dress and feed the kiddos, but I plan to continue. This is something I've always known was good to do, yet didn't see the purpose of it for me, who has always had pretty healthy teeth. 

This is just another aspect of my physical transformation over the next couple of years to a healthier me. I'll keep you posted and let you know if I've had any improvement at my next appointment in March.

Post-partum

Ideally, I would post on Mondays continuously, so I can be consistent, but considering I just had a baby 12 days ago and major abdominal surgery, I'd say 2 days late on a post is a miracle.

Life with Samuel has been an adjustment for all of us. Thankfully, it hasn't been nearly as bad as I feared (2 am feedings, being awake and active with my toddlers, and keeping up with cooking and cleaning for 5 instead of 4 had me quite intimidated), but it still hasn't been a walk in the park either. I am regularly getting about 5-6 hours of sleep, which is only possible because my hubby is still home this week and has taken some of the graveyard shift for me. The twins are having a hard time coping with sharing Mom and Dad with yet another person, who happens to interrupt their sleep with wailing a few times a night, so they are acting out and generally cranky for much of the day. 

One of the few things that seems to be going right is that I'm eating much better than I did when I was pregnant. We have a freezer full of delicious meals we've been slowly digging into, as well as eating tons of salads for lunch. I've actually enjoyed eating salad. It's been so long since I did that regularly, and through most of my pregnancy I was so tired and, for lack of a better word, lazy, that I ate whatever junk I could get my hands on. With the help of my hubby, I've been able to get the twins fed and get myself a delicious and balanced lunch every day, and we've had steamed veggies with our pre-made frozen meals almost every evening. 

Nursing is also going okay. Sam was a pro right from the first try, so my body is already back in "dairy" mode. It's almost working too well, as the poor kid has choked more than once on the massive amounts of milk my body is churning out. I guess I don't have to worry about supply with this one! I assume it will acclimate soon, but after nursing 2 kiddos for 2 years, all it knows is make, make, make. At least I can build up my storage supply for rainy days.

I am not too concerned about it right now, because I want to make sure my newborn is getting enough  good nutritious milk, but I have also lost a fair amount of weight so far. I was a little disappointed to discover after delivering him that I had only lost about 10 pounds (what about all the fluid they took out of me?!), but I weighed myself again on Monday and I am now down 20 pounds from my last OB appointment. I don't know if my body will keep this up or if I will plateau like I did after the twins were born, but I'll take whatever I can get right now while it works!

That's about all my tired mind will generate at this point. There isn't a whole lot more to tell. Until next time...

It's time!

He's here! Our little boy is perfect in every way, beautiful, and healthy. We are so proud to be his parents. Presenting Samuel Brodrick Patterson, weighing 9 lb 15 oz, 22 inches tall, he joined us on Friday morning, after a stressful week of decisions and uncertainty.

I'll write more again once we get home and settled somewhat. For now, he is doing great, and after a couple of rough days recovering from a c-section, I am too!

Until next time!

Surprise!!

No, he's not here yet. That's the surprise! 

As of my OB appointment on Wednesday, my doc didn't think I'd have him before my next appointment, this Wednesday. He even said to me, "Does this guy know he's due soon?" Apparently, I'm doing a good job of keeping him comfy, so he doesn't want to leave. Truthfully, I think my due date is off and that he was just measuring big for the ultrasound. I'm not surprised. I was over 11 pounds when I was born, and I'm obviously still quite large. We just have big babies in our family.

That's all there is to tell right now. I feel pretty good still, it's been cooler here the last couple of weeks, and most of my maternity clothes still fit. I think I'm done gaining weight, even though it fluctuates a pound or two every week, I don't think I have to worry about topping out at 315 or anything. So we're just waiting. The freezers and pantry are completely stocked (seriously, I can't even open the ads this week--I don't have anywhere to store anything else!), the house is somewhat clean and most of my little projects are either not exciting enough to get motivated to do, or so trivial I don't care whether they get done now or a year from now. Laundry is caught up (I do it about every 4 days instead of weekly, mostly out of boredom...) and the kitchen looks great. 

I know I'll have Blessing within the next couple of weeks, whether he comes on his own or I end up getting induced. It's weird to think that our lives are going to change so much so quickly. We've been enjoying spending time with the twins. We've watched movies together, played together, wrestled (at least, my hubby has), tickled, read, and snuggled. I will miss these days once the baby comes. It has been nice to have so much time to give them our attention. I hope they will remember how much we love them when we can't cater to them 24/7 anymore.

Here's to a September baby. Only 50 more hours to go. I'll try to let you know when he comes, at least with a note to say he's here. What a journey!

Please forgive the grumpiness in the photos. I was having a rough time with my body. I may write about it in the next couple of days, but I'd rather just forget it.

Until next time, we appreciate your prayers for a healthy delivery. Take care and God bless!